


I'll Have to Try Once Again

by darktensh17



Series: Can't Live Here Anymore [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Captivity, M/M, Mpreg, Poe Dameron hurts so pretty, Pregnancy, Rescue Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:50:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6931210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktensh17/pseuds/darktensh17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have been bleak for the Resistance after the loss of Commander Poe Dameron. Sure they got Rey and Finn out of it, but they still grieve for their ace pilot. Things change when Leia feels a call through the Force, one that comes from Starkiller Base, the very place that is the focus of their next mission.</p><p>Sequel to Something that Tears Me Inside</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've altered the TFA timeline quite a bit for this fic. This is a sequel to Something that Tears Me Inside because so many readers wanted a happy ending for Poe.
> 
> Since I love you all so much, and am celebrating getting a ton of writing don this weekend, I'm posting the first part of this today and on Wednesday (cause I'm travelling Thursday) I'll be posting the second part.
> 
> As always all mistakes/grammar errors are my own. 
> 
> Title (for the whole series) comes from Naveed by Our Lady Peace

Leia is sleeping when she feels the Force call. It’s really little more than a brush of the Force against her own connection, like a small hand reaching to grasp her own and not quite managing. Somehow it feels almost familiar and is quickly accompanied by a second similar attempt at contact.

The sensation is strong enough to wake her up with a gasp. She’s left with the sense that someone is trying to contact her but they’re just too far away or not strong enough to do so. 

She’s already getting out of bed when C-3PO hurries into the room without knocking. “Princess there is an urgent message to you from Master Luke; Lieutenant Connix insists that it cannot wait.”

Already out of her bed, Leia grabs a dressing robe and slips on the pair of shoes she keeps by her bed for emergencies just like this. “Threepio go and wake Finn, I think he’ll need to be here for this.” 

“Yes Princess.” C-3PO says as he exits the room after Leia, turning in the opposite direction to the room that Finn shares with BB-8 a room that had once belonged to Commander Poe Dameron.

Finn came to the Resistance along with Rey, two remarkable young people who had faced unimaginable odds to bring not only BB-8 back but also what they would later find to be just one fragment of a map that led to Leia’s brother. The map had been given to BB-8 by Poe prior to the man’s capture by the First Order. While the Resistance has gained much when Finn and Rey joined them, it doesn’t replace what they lost in order to achieve that gain.

Even six months later Leia still mourns Poe as much as she did the day that Finn told her the story of his last moment; the capture on Jakku, the torture, Finn helping Poe escape and then finally crashing on to Jakku. Poe deserved so much better than the end he had met, at least he could rest happy in the knowledge that he his mission had ended successfully. 

Now they not only had a new Jedi in training at their side but someone who could tell them all about the First Order, someone who also had working knowledge of Starkiller Base, the First Order’s super weapon.

Leia still has to write her letter to Kes Dameron, she almost can’t bear to, remembering the conversation she’d had so many years ago with Shara Bey, Poe’s beautiful mother, about the same topic. Every time she starts to write the letter of condolences something holds her back. She’s determined to send it after they have dealt with Starkiller Base. 

They’ve finally finished planning their attack on the base; it’s taken the better part of the last six months. Captain Temmin Wexley’s reconnaissance information on Starkiller as well as Finn’s first hand experience on the base has been invaluable in constructing a battle plan to take down the super weapon. Their plan would be put into action five days from now. 

Pushing that thought out of her mind for the moment, Leia sweeps into the Command center, nodding a brief greeting to Lieutenant Connix. “Luke, I take it you felt it to?” She asks her brother as she steps up to the comms screen. 

Luke nods his face grave. “Yes, two bright spots of the Force reaching out to me. Rey felt it as well though she to her it felt like the smallest brush of the Force. If you felt it as strongly as I did Leia, then it’s possible that we were the intended targets. Someone is trying to reach us and get our attention.

Rey looks over at Luke startled but she says nothing. Leia can tell that the two of them are currently sitting in the Millennium Falcon. The Falcon is the only means of communication that Leia has to her husband and brother; Luke hadn’t wanted to be found and thus had not brought any means of communication with him. If he had maybe the last few years would have gone much better . . . maybe Poe would even be still alive. 

No. She can’t focus on what ifs, especially not with how far they’ve come these last few months. She won’t cheapen Poe’s sacrifice like that.

Instead she turns her attention back to the comm screen; she can hear Chewbacca and Han arguing in the background, though they’re far enough away that she can’t hear what Han is bellyaching about. It’s probably something inane knowing him.

“Do you know what it was or where it came from?” Luke is stronger in the Force than Leia, mostly due to his training, and while she can get a general sense of the direction the Force call came from she can’t determine exactly where. She is sure that even from Ahch-To that Luke will have already tried to pinpoint the location of the call.

Luke and Rey exchange a look just as Finn hurries into the Command center looking alert despite the sudden wake-up call. “We believe it came from somewhere around the location of Starkiller Base, possibly from the base itself.” 

“There’s nothing on Starkiller Base that should reach out to you right? No one there but Kylo Ren should have the Force.” Finn says, looking between Leia, Luke and Rey desperately. 

Leia lays her hand on his arm to calm him. They haven’t yet told Finn that he may be mildly Force sensitive but now is not the time. “Some Force users such as Luke, Rey and myself awaken late in life. . .” 

“But that’s not what you think this is.” Finn finishes for her, ever the perceptive individual.

It’s Luke who answers him. “No it’s not. Whoever tried to reach out to us is not only untrained but very, very young . . . the only other time I’ve felt such a light brush of the Force was fro-”

“It was from Ben.” Leia doesn’t feel bad for interrupting her brother, his words feeling like a bucket of ice being dropped on her because she knows suddenly. “We knew he would be strong with the Force from before birth. If I was feeling something too strongly, especially sadness or pain, I could feel him using the Force to comfort me. It didn’t start until I was about six months pregnant, when Ben could have survived outside the womb.”

It’s a good thing the Command center is empty other then Leia, Finn, C-3PO and Connix or else Leia’s confession may bring up too many questions. Of those gathered Lieutenant Connix is the only one who had no previous information about Ben Organa-Solo.

Finn’s breath stutters out as he turns to look at Leia with wide eyes. “Does that mean that someone on Starkiller Base is pregnant? Somewhere on that death machine there is someone who is carrying a baby that is strong with the Force?” There’s so much disbelief in his voice as he speaks.

If only if it were that easy. “It’s not just one child, there were two signatures even though they were so similar; it’s far more likely that it’s twins.” Leia tells him with certainty. “What is the First Order trying to accomplish with this. . .” 

Luke clears his throat to get everyone’s attention. “There’s a chance that Ben is the father Leia, I don’t know much about the First Order but I’m sure they don’t have very many Force users at their disposal. It may be that Snoke is trying to build a new generation of dark Force users.” 

Leia knows this and she’s not sure how to feel; if it’s true and she could have potential grandchildren then she knows they have to find and liberate whoever it is that’s bearing the children. Even if they’re not Ben’s they still deserve a chance to live and grow away from the evil that is the First Order. It looks like they’re going to have to amend their plans for the destruction of Starkiller Base to include a rescue. She won’t deny that she was already hoping to get in contact with Ben to encourage him to come back to the Light.

“How soon can you be here Luke? Our attack against Starkiller Base is set for five days from now and we’re going to need both you and Rey.” 

Han suddenly appears between Luke and Rey. “We’re already preparing for the trip Leia. We’ll be there in three days; count on it.” Leia doesn’t point out that Han’s guarantees usually end up badly, she’ll just have to trust that the Force is with them.

Three days, it will give them enough time to amend the plan to include a rescue. “I’ll look for you in the skies. Don’t be late.” There’s so much more she wants to say but she knows they can’t keep the channel open. “May the Force be with you all.” 

Once the communication shuts down, Leia turns to Finn. “I’m going to need you to tell me where the living quarters are. We don’t have a map for the inside of the base so we’re going to have to rely on you for this. We’ll have to include Luke and Rey with the ground grew that takes out the shields, there’s no other way that we’re going to be able to find whoever is carrying those babies.”

“I’ll do everything I can General.” Finn says with a nod.

Satisfied, Leia tells Connix to call all the command personnel involved in the Starkiller base mission. She’s forthright when she tells them why they’ve been called, not wishing for anyone to go in blind. There is some measure of disbelief by those gathered but they all agree that they can’t leave children in the hands of the First Order, not after learning everything Finn had to tell them about the Stormtrooper training program. 

Six days later they launch their attack. Luke, Han, Rey and Finn are on the ground while Captain’s Karé Kun and Iolo Arana, two of Poe’s closest friends, are leading the aerial assault. Leia can only hope that the Force is with them all and they succeed in both their missions.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys this was supposed to go up yesterday but I was knackered and went to bed early. So here's chapter 2! All spelling/grammar mistakes are my own as usual.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> The Song Poe sings is Vienna Teng "Lullaby for a stormy night"

Poe hums softly to the babies growing within him, rocking himself as best as he can with his chained ankle. Both his hands are settled on his stomach, rubbing it in circles in hopes that it will help the little ones calm. He doesn’t know why but they’ve been agitated for most of the morning, shifting and kicking, their constant moving keeping Poe from getting any rest. 

Rest which Poe so desperately needs right now.

Kylo had been rougher than usual the night before, taking extra time and effort to show Poe all manners of horrors as he violated him. Poe’s mind had been assaulted by images of Yavin IV burning, of the Resistance Base on D’Qar being burned and everyone he loved dead. Kylo had taken the knowledge of the base’s location from Poe’ mind months ago and Poe still doesn’t know the fate of the Resistance because withholding that knowledge is another form of torture that he readily uses against Poe.

If it weren’t for the tiny waves of comfort and love from the twins, Poe may have finally given into despair under the onslaught. This was apparently what Kylo ha been aiming for because he didn’t stop his assault until Poe had passed out and couldn’t be revived again, which had occurred several time during the night.

It wasn’t until the next ‘day’ that Poe regained consciousness, opening his eyes to the too bright lighting of the medical bay. As he tried to puzzle together what had happened he could hear the doctor he usually dealt with berating Kylo in the background. The man was telling him that he needed to keep Poe healthy and to stop pushing him so hard if he didn’t want Poe to miscarry. The children’s survival was dependent on Poe’s health, and not just his physical health. 

The words surprised Poe considering the man was part of the First Order, and was generally brusque and almost cruel when dealing with Poe. Then again perhaps he was just worried about his won skin, if Poe or the babies didn’t survive the man’s life was likely forfeit. 

The lecture was cut off by the sound of choking and Poe could hear Kylo growling at the doctor that was the man’s responsibility to ensure that Poe was healthy enough to carry Kylo’s children to term. If he couldn’t do so then Kylo could easily have him replaced. Both the doctor and Poe knew that Kylo did not mean he would have the doctor resigned.

Even with all his anger and threats, Kylo did heed the doctor’s advice and allowed Poe to rest and recuperate. Poe hadn’t seen head or tail of Kylo in hours. He didn’t even see PC-4255 more than twice; both times for meals as well as a supervised bath, which Poe would have enjoyed more if the stormtrooper hadn’t been watching him the entire time. He didn’t even know if PC-4255 was male or female, the trooper never said anything to Poe.

At least the meals were pleasant. Lunch had consisted of a sandwich made of what Poe suspected may be Endorian chicken, it was absolutely divine. Dinner was a vegetable platter that Poe suspected Kylo had either made himself, or supervised the making of; because it was a dish right out of Poe’s past. It was something Poe’s mother used to make for special occasions, particularly when the Organa-Solo family used to visit. 

The sight and taste of it brought tears to Poe’s eyes. He’s spent the better part of dinner trying not to cry while PC-4255 had watched him eat. It wasn’t until afterward that Poe had finally allowed himself to grieve in the knowledge that he’d likely never see Yavin IV or his father again.

He’d fallen asleep crying only to be woken up when the babies started to become restless. 

Poe is sure that’s it late in the night, or the sleep cycle; Poe hasn’t seen actual daylight since he left D’Qar on his mission to Jakku. He’s not even sure where he is outside of Kylo Ren’s private chamber. He knows that he was on the Finalizer at some point but after a second round in the torture chamber he’d passed out again and woken up in these rooms. 

One of the baby’s kicks particularly hard and Poe hisses as he presses his hand against his side. “It’s alright little ones. . .everything’s okay.” Poe ignores the way his voice cracks as he says the words. “You just need to settle down.” _I need to sleep_ he adds mentally, _I’m just so tired._

Almost as if they can hear him the babies settle and Poe could almost cry in relief because maybe he can finally get the rest he so desperately craves. 

He’s just settling down, trying to find a semi-comfortable position to lay down in when sirens start going off. Startled he sits up, looking around himself and wondering just what the hell is going on.

[ENEMY ATTACK; ALL HANDS TO STATIONS]

Poe’s as excited as he is terrified, because conceivably there is only one faction that would risk an attack on the First Order and that’s the Resistance. He’s terrified because he knows that if the Resistance does succeed that it’s going to mean his death because no one even knows that he’s alive. 

If that’s what success for the Resistance and freedom for Poe means, Poe is ready to accept that. 

“This may be the end of the line for us.” He whispers to the babies, placing his hands on his stomach. “That might just be for the best anyway.” He’s more than ready for his ordeal to finally be over. 

The babies don’t take well to that and once again they’re squirming inside of him and instead of it just being uncomfortable now it’s downright painful. “Shhh, I’m sure it’ll be quick there won’t be any pain.” At least Poe hopes it won’t be painful because he’s so tired of being in pain. “We’ll be free of all of this.” His words aren’t soothing them at all, instead of talking he starts singing one of the songs that his mother used to sing to him when he was upset or scared during the stormy nights on Yavin IV. 

_“Little child, be not afraid_  
The rain pounds harsh against the glass  
Like an unwanted stranger  
There is no danger  
I am here tonight” 

The song seems to be working, slowly the babies are settling once again and Poe can feel them reaching out to him with the Force. The touch feels different than the soothing comfort he’s used to but Poe doesn’t realize it; his attention is divided between calming the babies with song and listening to the sound of the blaring siren. 

_Little child_  
Be not afraid  
Though thunder explodes  
And lightning flash  
Illuminates your tearstained face  
I am here tonight 

There’s the sound of feet running past the door, Poe ignores it. It’s not as though anyone is coming to his rescue. 

_And someday you'll know_  
That nature is so  
This same rain that draws you near me  
Falls on rivers and land  
And forests and sand  
Makes the beautiful world that you see  
In the morning 

Poe voice cracks and suddenly he’s crying, leaning over and curling his hands around his stomach. “I’m so sorry.” He tells the babies brokenly. “You deserve so much better than any of this. It’s not your fault that your father is a Sith and that I’m little more than a broken shell of a person. Now you’re not even going to get to experience all the joys of life because of us.” 

The sirens become background noise as Poe sobs releasing all the emotions he’s tried to keep hidden deep within him since the night Ren found him on Jakku. Eventually the there are no more tears and Poe just keeps whispering ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again. 

He almost misses the sounds of someone stopping outside of the door to the room. He doesn’t miss the sound of people arguing loudly.

“This is the room, I can feel the presence of the Force signatures coming from inside.”

“The doors sealed shut how are we going to open it?”

“I don’t know wise guy, maybe a blaster shot or-” 

There’s an unfamiliar sound almost a thrumming and then the sound of sparking electronics as the door suddenly slides open and Poe is left staring wide eyed as Han Solo enters the room looking equal parts annoyed and impressed. “Or a lightsaber, that works to. You’re still a damn show off Luke.”

Oh and Luke Skywalker is entering after Han followed by an unfamiliar girl and a dark skinned man.

“F-Finn?” Somehow the sight of the stormtrooper that tried to save him is more shocking than seeing the man he risked everything to find a map to, and the father of his tormentor standing in the doorway. 

Apparently he’s not the only one who’s surprised because Luke and Han are staring at him in shock. It’s Finn who breaks the silence as he steps into the room. “Poe? Poe Dameron?! You’re alive?!” Suddenly he’s rushing over to Poe, pulling him into a hug, or trying to until he’s stopped by Poe’s obviously distended stomach. “What? Oh? Ohhhh. . .” 

Poe wants to feel ashamed but he’s well past that now, instead he pats Finn on the shoulder and turns to the two older men. “Master Luke, Mr Solo, what are you doing here?” It doesn’t feel right referring to Han Solo as familiarly as he used to, once he’d been uncle Han and now. . . well soon it may very well be grandpa Han if they make it out of here. 

“Apparently we’re here to save you. Kriff kid Leia thought you were dead. . . what happened to you?” Han asks, his eyes taking Poe in as though the answer aren’t obvious. Or maybe it isn’t, it’s not every day that someone you thought was a regular human male ends up pregnant

Before Poe can answer there’s a familiar roar from the hallway, Poe almost forgot that wherever Han goes Chewbacca goes as well. “Never mind, we’ll save the explanations for later, right now we need to get out of here before reinforcements arrive. It figures that little distraction wouldn’t keep their attention for long. Common kid.”

“I can’t I. . .” Poe gestures to his ankle helplessly where he’s still chained to the bed. He’s eternally thankful that he’s been allowed clothes today because this entire rescue would be infinitely more awkward if he was nude. Of course the loose white pants and large tunic he’s wearing aren’t exactly the best clothes to go traipsing around in, not to mention he’s barefoot.

Han’s cursing even as Luke walks over to him. “You need to hold still Poe.” Nodding Poe holds perfectly still as Luke easily slices through the chain as close to Poe’s ankle as possible. “We’ll have it removed properly when we get back to base.” 

Poe notices Luke’s eyes resting on his stomach for several moments before he offers Poe a hand up. It would be nice to say that Poe stood up with some amount of grace and dignity, but he barely makes it two feet before he was staggering and Finn’s arms are suddenly around him holding him steady. Apparently being six months pregnant and not having walked much during that time because you’re chained to a bed does not lend itself well to walking.

“Are you okay Poe?” Finn asks anxiously as he helps to steady Poe. 

“Yeah, I just it’s been awhile since I’ve uh. . . walked much.” The comment brings more cursing from Han and looks of horror from Finn and the girl, while Luke’s face is carefully blank.

“Chewie we need you in here!” Han calls out moments before Chewie comes in. “Kid can’t walk, we’re gunna need you to carry him.” 

Chewie looks over at Poe with an expression of sorrow and Poe doesn’t fight as the wookiee picks him up with some effort. “Hi Chewie.” Chewie’s arms are warm around him and Poe feels safe like he hasn’t in months, he could almost fall asleep if not for the pressing issue of them needing to escape. 

Even so there’s so much he wants to ask about what’s going on though. Why is Finn here? Did the Resistance get the map BB-8 carried? Is BB-8 okay? Who’s the girl? What’s going on? Does Han know that his son is Kylo Ren? Poe didn’t until all of this happened and it would have been nice for someone to have told him that. 

As they make their ways through the halls the babies start to get restless again and Poe’s starting to think that means something. “Something’s wrong. I think. . . I think maybe Kylo Ren’s coming.” 

Luke glances back at him and then over at the girl. “Yes, I can feel him, can you Rey?”

The girl, Rey, nods. “Yes, he feels angry.” 

Han exchanges a look with Luke. “You and I need to go after him then; Chewie can make sure the kids make it to the Falcon.” 

Poe knows why Han feels he has to go but he doesn’t think it’ll do any good. “Han he’s not there anymore. Ben. . .B-Ben wouldn’t have done what Kylo Ren has. I know Leia believes that there’s hope, but he’s so dark he even scares. . .” He trails off pressing a hand to his stomach. “You shouldn’t go.”

“Hey kid, I’ve got Luke with me, we’ll be okay.” Han comes over and gives his hand a comforting squeeze. “You focus on yourself right now, when you get to the Falcon you let Leia know you’re alive, everyone’s been real down without you.” He turns to Finn and Rey. “I’m tasking you two with getting him back safely and covering Chewie. If we don’t meet you at the Falcon in thirty or if things get too wild, you take off Rey, don’t stick around. Luke’s an old hand at stealing shuttles so we’ll get away somehow.”

Luke smiles in agreement. “I’ll be much safer escaping knowing that Commander Dameron is not in his X-wing getting ready to shoot me down. You already take after your mother too much, and I’d hate for you to mistake me for an enemy ship as well.”

The reminder of his mother has Poe feeling wistful and sad, but there will be time to dwell on that later. “Good luck.” Is all he can bring himself to say as Chewie’s grip tightens to keep him steady as he starts to run, Finn and Rey following close behind. 

Escaping doesn’t prove easy but Finn is a great shot and Rey is apparently a Jedi in training because she’s able to deflect some of the shots. Her weapon of choice is a quarterstaff but she’s not a bad shot with a blaster either. When they do make it out, they walk out into a world bathed white with snow.

“W-w-where are we?” Poe asks, teeth already chattering from the cold. This is the first time he’s felt fresh air in months and even though it’s cold enough to freeze the air in his lungs it feels so wonderful.

“Starkiller Base, it’s the First Order’s super weapon.” Finn tells Poe as they hurry to where the Falcon is sitting. “The Resistance fighters are trying to destroy it before it destroys its next target, D’Qar.” He looks worried as he glances toward where there is a battle going on above their heads between X-wings and TIE fighters. Poe’s not sure how he missed the noise when they first stepped out. “We took down the shields but they haven’t taken out the thermal oscillator yet.”

Rey frowned and looked back the way they came. “It’s possible they can’t break the surface to get a critical hit, we need to weaken the structure for him. Chewie you take Poe to the Falcon, Finn and I are going to deal to help the Resistance out.”

That wasn’t a good idea but if the next target is D’Qar then they need to do everything they can to stop it. Poe knows he’s just a liability and won’t be much help, but Chewie will be able to. “You need to go with them Chewie, keep them safe.” The Falcon can’t be that far, Poe can probably make it on his own.

Chewie isn’t having any of that though, he howls at Poe and then at Rey and Finn.

“I don’t know what you’re saying but you need to get Poe to the Falcon and keep him safe.” Finn insists.

Rey nods in agreement. “It would be best, we shouldn’t be long.” 

The two don’t even wait for acknowledgement, running back the way they came. Chewie growls but he turns away and hurries toward the direction of the Falcon. Poe can’t do anything but hold on for the moment. 

When they get to the Falcon though there is something that he can do, piloting doesn’t require the use of his legs. “I’m not sitting around twiddling my thumbs; I’ve done enough of that for the last six months.” It’s been years since he sat on Han Solo’s knee learning to pilot the Falcon with Ben at his side, but Poe Dameron can fly anything. “Chewie man the guns, I’m taking the Falcon up, we’re going to help my pilots get this death machine taken care of. We can’t let Finn and Rey do all the work.” 

Chewie seems to be in agreement with that at least and Poe doesn’t turn to watch Chewie go, he’s more concerned with starting up the Falcon, which is significantly less easy without a co-pilot and with a giant stomach keeping him from bending over properly. This may not be the wisest course of action but he’d rather go down fighting.

“Hold on babies.” He starts the Falcon up and launches it right into the middle of the battle, the Falcon can take a lot more damage than an X-wing can especially with the shields up, Poe uses that to his advantage.

His radio crackles as he joins in the fight. “Falcon this is Dagger Leader, we’re happy to have you joining the fray. We’re in sore need of someone to cover our asses out here General Solo. Hopefully you can get a few hits at that oscillator and do some extra damage.”

“Captain Arana I swear you used to be able to hit a target with your eyes closed, I’m pretty sure you don’t need me to do it for you.” It’s easy to fall back into the old banter he used to have with his squad, and it’s just so kriffing good to know that Iolo is still alive. Poe tries not to think about how any of his pilots have fallen during the last six months, if they survive there will be time to grieve later.

There’s silence from the other end and Poe uses it to focus on maneuvering the Flacon so that Chewie can get the best shots and take out as many TIE’s as possible.

Iolo curses through the comm suddenly. “Kriff don’t let this be a dream, is that you Poe?”

“It’s me buddy, I’m sorry I was gone for so long.” 

“We thought you were dead Poe.” 

Poe can hear the pain in Iolo’s voice and it’s like a spear through is heart. He wishes he could have gotten word back that he was still alive but that just wasn’t possible. “I’m alive and angry, let’s take these bastards out.” 

“Roger Black Leader.” 

The fight goes on and as it does Poe notices that the sky is getting darker and darker, that can’t be a good sign. Suddenly he feels a pull and looks to the right just in time to see a series of explosions go off in what he assumes is the thermal oscillator. “Iolo cover me, I’m going in.” He yells back behind him toward Chewie. “Brace yourself and prepare to do a whole lot of firing Chewie.” 

Wishing he were in an X-wing Poe turns the Falcon so that they can slip through the crack and hollers at Chewie to start firing at will. Once the explosions start he flies back out with a holler of victory as the oscillator lights up.

“Way to go Black Leader!”

Iolo’s congratulations crackle through the comm. “Thanks Iolo. Regroup with the rest of the squad and cover my back, I’ve got to pick up some strays.” To the twins he whispers. “I need you to help me find them and then we can get out of here and away from Kylo Ren.” He can feel their answering acknowledgement and then it’s like they’re urging him to look to the right and there! He can see two figures running in the snow, turning the Falcon he steers to the nearest open area. “Chewie we need to get Finn and Rey!”

It’s risky to be so out in the open, but by now the TIE fighters are concentrated more on fleeing than pursuing the Falcon or any of the Resistance X-Wings. 

While he waits Poe glances down at the time noting that he still has ten minutes before Han and Luke are past their deadline. He’s not sure that the planet will last that long, he can already feel the planet quaking beneath the Falcon as he lands and waits for Finn and Rey to board.

“Did either of you see any sign of Luke or Han?” Poe asks them as they scramble on board and Rey slips into the seat next to him, he can hear Finn hurrying toward the location of the gunner stations. Both actions speak of a familiarity with the Falcon and Poe wonders, briefly, how that is. 

“I can sense Master Luke; he’s near Kylo Ren somewhere inside the base still.” Rey is taking over most of the control of the Falcon and Poe is happy to let her, he’s not sure he can still fly her steady now that adrenaline seems to be running out.

He isn’t happy to hear that Luke and Han don’t appear to be out of danger. “Can you reach him? Let him know that he needs to get out now or the planet’s going to blow with him on it?” 

Rey nods even though most of her concentration is on the Falcon. “Take control for a few minutes. I’m not so good as Master Luke that I can do this while my attention is focused elsewhere.” 

Once Poe has the Falcon running steady, he glances over at Rey and watches as she closes her eyes and sits still. He hopes that Luke gets the message because this planet is going to blow very, very soon. Explosions are beginning to happen with greater frequency and Poe isn’t sure how much longer they’ll have if they don’t break the atmosphere immediately.

“There!” Ray points suddenly in the direction of the main part of the base. “They’re in a TIE fighter and are coming out to greet us.”

Poe hits the comm button fast. “All units this is the Falcon we have a friendly TIE do not shoot it.”

His voice over the channels ignites a chorus of agreements and several confused voices. Now’s not the time to reveal himself, it’s time to go. “Captain Arana give the order, it’s time to get everyone home.” 

With Luke and Han trailing after them in the stolen TIE, Rey and Poe guide the Falcon away from the planet just in time. The sound of Starkiller Base exploding is almost deafening and sends shockwaves in all directions. Poe has to grab to the controls tightly when the Falcon starts rocking. 

Over the comms he can hear the pilots and central command cheering as they make the jump to lightspeed and are away.

-

Seeing D’Qar again brings tears to Poe’s eyes and he has to take a moment to compose himself, hands coming up to cover his face as he takes a few deep breaths. Finn settles a comforting hand on his shoulder while Rey and Chewie take the Falcon in to land. 

“I’m okay.” Poe promises, “It’s just a little overwhelming is all.”

Finn nods but doesn’t say anything, and Poe appreciates his silent support. Once they’re on the ground Poe takes a steadying breath. He knows he’s not going to be able to walk down the ramp so he waits for Chewie to come and lift him up. It’s a little embarrassing but given the last six months he’s past feeling ashamed of himself.

As they exit the Falcon, Poe can hear everyone on base gathered on the tarmac cheering and celebrating their victory. He catches a glance of Luke and Han, both being embraced by Leia before the entire area goes quiet as Iolo shouts his name and rushes toward him and then the base is a different sort of chaos as people crowd around him eagerly to ensure that he is really alive and also to find out what’s going on.

They don’t really get a chance because Poe is swiftly carted off to medbay by Chewie and spends the better part of the next few days there so that Doctor Kalonia can monitor his health and the health of the twins.

Being confined to medbay doesn’t stop the necessity of a debriefing and a day after his return General Organa pays hi a visit, Luke and Han in tow and Poe tells them everything.

Explaining what has happened to him during the last six months to people you have grown up around, who are the relatives of the person who tortured you, is not an easy thing and Poe cries freely during the tale. Leia’s arms wrap around him and she holds him tightly, petting his back and hair to help calm him.

Poe knows that the three of them will accept Poe and the children as party of the family with open arms. It’s comforting. He also knows that he’s going to have to get in touch with his father, tell him that he’s alive and what’s happened. Somehow that feels like the more difficult task he has to face in the immediate future. 

-

Poe doesn’t look up from where he’s leaning against BB-8 when Luke comes to sit next to him on the grass. While Poe had escaped the celebrations to get some fresh air, BB-8 ever his loyal guardian had followed after him, he knows that Luke is here for a different reason.

Even before the older man opens his mouth, Poe is aware of what he is going to say so he says it for him. “Ren isn’t dead, I think I would have felt it if he was.” Somehow he isn’t sure that it’ll just be through the babies either, Poe had always had a sense of Ben in the past. After spending so many months with Kylo Ren and to suddenly be away from him, Poe can still feel a sense of him in the back of his mind.

Luke nods and Poe can feel him looking at him sadly. “We both know that my nephew will not give up until he finds you again. Especially now that. . .” Luke’s voice trails off and he hesitates before placing a hand on Poe’s stomach once Poe’s nodded his consent. “They’re going to be strong in the Force. I’m sorry for that Poe, for all of this. I failed them and you as much as I failed Ben for not seeing the signs.”

“Ben’s choices weren’t your fault Uncle Luke.” Poe says honestly, turning to look at the man. “But we’re not going to allow someone like Snoke to get into the heads of my children.” Poe knows all about Snoke and what he did to Ben. “We’re going to learn from the mistakes of the past so that they don’t repeat in the future. I’m not Force Sensitive so I’m going to have to count on you and Auntie Leia to help me.”

“We’ll be here every step of the way Poe.”

The promise is solemn and Poe nods, offering Luke a tight hug before turning back to look up at the stars. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen in the future but he makes a promise to himself to always keep his little ones safe and to never have them doubt that they are loved.


End file.
